Phew, We can finally breathe! Have you ever been in a crazy season of life? Perhaps one that was completely difficult?
Yes I have been there.
I'm sharing my journey this past year, one that has been close to my heart and I hope it can help someone else along the way. You see, I took a season of self care recently, where I slowed down, calmed down (well, calm for me that is!) and focused more on self love, boosting my self worth and loving who I am, fully. It hasn't been easy and as an extrovert, it's been more difficult to keep quiet but it's been totally worth it.
Have you ever felt totally drained, rejected or had low self esteem?
Last year I felt the cold stings of rejection, I applied for jobs I didn't get, I was going through a very difficult time with my husband being gone with his pre deployment workups and my daughter being so utterly frustrated and confused. I was battling depression, anxiety and a serious lack of self worth. You see, for so many years my "self esteem" came from if I was liked or not. I felt valued if I was taking care of others, was extremely liked and fit in.
So what happened when everything I once valued was stripped away?
I was in a chapter in my life where I had people who dipised me, I had a husband gone constantly for the military, no family around and depression and anxiety took over my life. Literally, I really felt like my world collapsed.
So I asked myself,
What do you do when you can no longer do what you're doing?
When I am no longer liked by everyone, I am not identified by this health finatic.Everything that was once so comfortable to me was stripped away.
This is when I felt God wanted me in a season of self care.
I knew with the upcoming 2018 my husband would deploy overseas which that in itself is stressful. I also knew I needed a serious remodel of my soul. I wanted a season to slow down, be there for my daughter during the deployment and most importantly, be there for myself for once.
For so many years I would aim to please others, except myself. I'd be the first to step in to volunteer but in reality what my soul longed for was a break. A season to learn about myself, embrace the Meg Fisher I've always wanted to be.
It started in February, I began limiting my social media use. It was a major factor or depression for me. For me, I was comparing my life to other's on there. I'd see what I was missing out on or felt uninvited. When in reality, I just needed to detox from social media so I did. And after the several days off I limited my use to two times a day for 10 minutes. I noticed right away I was focusing more on myself rather than everyone else. It felt good. I wanted more.
Then I started getting massages more frequently, reading books, completing races,finishing school and learning about myself. For the first time in my life I truly enjoyed being alone. As an extrovert by nature, this is a whole new chapter. It felt so good to put myself first, love myself even if other's didn't approve of me. My value was based on ME and not what everyone else though.
It felt amazing.
One of the final things I did in the season of self care was a photo shoot. It was a celebration of many things; I wanted a photo shoot to embrace my body for simply what it is.
So many years I have sought perfection, body shaming and this photo shoot was just a celebration of me.
I'm not the perfect weight I wanted to be but my body is strong. My mind is powerful and it's carried a child. I am proud of that. I want my daughter to grow up loving herself, learning to have boundaries with others and not be so consumed by social medial influence.
And to remind myself sometimes that not everything you see on social media is reality. What you don't see in this photo is a tired momma. After months of workups and a deployment almost done I was exhausted. What you don't see in this photo is a woman that one year ago overcame depression and anxiety.
This season was rough ya'll. But I can see why God wanted me in this house, with those struggles. I'm stronger now than ever before and I do get on social media still but I limit it. I crave real relationships, in person. And I'm back to being Meg again, being loud, helping others with health and fitness except now I take care of myself first.
So what chapter are you in your life right now?
I even created a program called Meg's Mindset Makeover for women online. Here, I help them overcome everyday challenges such as overeating, depression and lack of motivation. Check it out: https://www.megfisherwellness.com/work-with-me